Speaking to your loved one about nursing care

No one likes to talk to their loved ones about nursing homes or hiring a caregiver. It is a difficult discussion to have, but nursing care does not have to be a contentious subject to broach. Here are four tips for discussing in-home or nursing home care with your loved to help approach the subject and to have an honest discussion.

1.      Begin the discussion early to allow your loved one time to process.

Losing independence can come with a grief period and allowing your loved one time to consider the option of in-home care or nursing home care helps them fully accept that these options may be beneficial to them without the stress of needing to make a quick decision. A time of reflection can allow them to digest and prepare for major life changes. This also gives everyone involved time to plan and find the appropriate provider for in-home or nursing care when the time comes. Make it a priority that when the discussion is being had that your loved one does not feel attacked or being forced into the decision. Using examples of how these services have benefited others they may know could help ease their reluctance to having this conversation. Revisit the discussion to address any new fears or concerns that may not have been addressed in the previous conversation.

2.      Make sure everyone involved understands the differences in available services and that everyone remains included in the decision process.

Understanding the pros and cons of each type of service is crucial to making the decision that is best for your loved one. It is also imperative that your loved one is involved in the learning process so that when the time comes the services can match their expectations. Research area in-home, home health, and nursing facility providers in your area and learn about their admissions process, payment options, staffing requirements, and waitlists to better plan for when the time comes to utilize these services. Plan for in-person tours of any facilities that align with what you and your loved one are looking for. Regularly use inclusive language like “we are making this decision” or “we would like to know more about your services” to reiterate that your loved one is not alone in these upcoming decisions and changes.

3.      When the decision is made, everyone must be on the same page.

Strong support systems are vital to a person continuing to thrive, whether at their private home or in their nursing home residents. The decision needs to have everyone’s support and have everyone on the same page to prevent any added confusion or doubt of the decision. Have an open discussion with everyone about what is being considered and allow objections to be aired. This discussion could bring up things that may not have been considered before and will allow time for others to accept the upcoming changes.

4.      Make sure your loved one is comfortable, and their wants and needs are being heard.

After all, this decision affects them the most. Give them the opportunity and the space to let their feelings be heard. When they speak to you about their feelings, make sure not to criticize or downplay those emotions, as that could do more harm than good. This major life change might be necessary, but it can also come with feelings of anxiety, abandonment, or fear of missing out on important events. Make sure to address those concerns with solutions, and again, reiterate to your loved one how this is a process that will include everyone.